The reason for my blog is to share my experience of life while I am here in NZ. Although this one is about someone in Nebraska I still feel it is a strong part and essence of my experience and what I am going through right now in the present. The pain of me not being able to say goodbye or be there to comfort others is unbearable. This is the best way I can think of in participating with carrying on Shannon’s memories.
When I thought about the times I had with Shannon they were never depressing or sad times. Each time was full of laughter and enjoyment of life. Even if I wanted to be grumpy that day she never gave me a chance to be. Her strong personality and the confidence that she conveyed made you want to be around her and trust her.
I remember helping coach a volleyball clinic with Shannon and was blown away on how unbelievably good she was with the girls. I would watch her get the nervous ones to smile and have a good time. I left there wishing I could connect and relate to people the way she did. Playing sand volleyball at Mahoney was probably one of my favorites. Everyone there became complete goof balls and just enjoyed each other’s laughs. The horrible attempts at diving for a ball to only end up with sand down our pants. We made each other’s night by watching our awkward display of athleticism on an uneven ground. Her hugs were the best too. I remember at LNE post prom two years ago. I hadn’t seen her in months but when I spotted her I ran over and gave her a hug. It felt like I had seen her the day before; she has one of those embraces that are sincere and warming to the heart.
Throughout her whole experience with cancer she has been an inspiration. When I first got the chance to visit her I believe she had just started chemo and was very tired and sick. Although she felt like crap she was still smiling and would ask me about my life. The last time I got to see her was at my going away party. I was so excited and surprised that she was going to be able to come see everyone. As I waited for Shannon and Krissy to come through the door I get a text from Krissy, “We will be there in a second we have to go get Shannon eyelashes from Walmart”. This girl, facing the challenge of cancer, had me fooled that night. She walked in with a beautiful head of brunette hair and lovely eyelashes that put mine to shame :) Smiles all night and even played me in water pong...God bless her soul! I am so thankful now that she had the strength to come because that is how I get to remember her…fun, full of energy, humorous, and gorgeous inside and out.
People always use the words “keep battling” or “fight this”. I never like using those words because it makes it sound that it is a fail if the outcome is death. I like to see it as a disagreement we have with God. Shannon didn’t lose a battle she just got the VIP ticket to get in front of the line of life. In fact I may be a little jealous. While she is kickin it up in heaven she gets to watch us poor saps carry on with life on Earth and all the obstacles we have to live through until we get to our end goal; to be there with her and the others we have loved and lost along the way.
I just loved this photo because my friends have awesome smiles and it made me smile :)
Shannon at my going away party with her new hairdo..Love it! Love you all..always
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran Shannon, you were my delight.
